Legal confessions
by Kathrynzala
Summary: What will Godot stoop to in order to defeat Phoenix Wright? Only a closely-guarded yet obvious secret. Takes place after T&T, pretty crack-filled. Oneshot, Phoenix/Maya


I can type something once and it will appear twice :DD.

Please, if you have a perfectly capable mind, turn back now. This fic will melt ur brain with its stupidity. - - -  
Godot was smug as the black sludge of what could only be his millionth cup of coffee slithered smoothly down his throat. He had come to think, as he had regretfully admitted to himself, it was impossible to defeat the defense prodigy that was Phoenix Wright in a regular court case. He was convinced that the blasted spiky-haired man always squeaked by into winning. Yet, Godot's irrational desire to beat him in court lived on, as he spent day after day conjuring up a court case, in the loosest form of the word, that Phoenix could not win. The pleasure that he would get watching Wright's defeated face was coming early to the masked prosecutor. The fact that the verdict would greatly embarrass Godot's long-time rival was only an added bonus.

The judge would be no problem, being naive as the brainless old man was. He had agreed to the 'case' soon after Godot proposed it. Phoenix's prescence would be required, naturally, being both the accused and his own attorney, despite him not being told what he was being charged of. And the "victim" would show up, being his trusty, hamburger-obsessed sidekick. All that was left was to wait.

Godot slammed down the now empty mug in anticipation. A confused lawyer and eager Maya ambled in through the large, mahoganey courtroom's doors. The strong smell of caffeine and the familiar yet faint scent of toothpaste from the over-sleeping judge greeted Nick's nose and small chatter amongst the jurors invaded his ears. "What's this all about?" he asked Godot sourly. Godot just smirked because he would soon know victory over this man.

The hasty bang of the judge's gavel echoed through the courtrooms and interrupted the rather one-sided conversation, as well as murmurs from the seated jury. Although Nick had seen this courtroom thousands of times, the whole place felt bigger and more threatening from the defendant's chair. The room seemed to expand as all the peering eyes of people stuck on jury duty seemed to give him the evil-eye. "Your opening statement, Mr. Godot?" the judge asked quickly and irritably, as though he couldn't wait to throw down his robe and run out the doors.

"A coffee is only as dark as its owner." As usual, the meaning was lost on the members of the judge was about to open his mouth, with the feeling he didn't want to hear the answer. But uncaring, Godot countinued before the judge could speak. "Trite here is being accused of loving the victim, Maya Fey."

There was an uneasy silence that swept over the courtroom, as though someone had just employed Larry as a policeman. This was just as Godot expected. The silence passed as an earsplitting, "WHAT?!" escaped Nick's lips. On the defense side, a shocked and defensive Phoenix Wright glanced at and averted his gaze from Maya bahedly before going back to a subtle yet furious glare at Godot for ever bringing the topic up. Godot grinned cheekily as he saw Maya's jaw unhinge, an expression that hardly matched her petite and pretty facial features, and he downed another cup of coffee. "I-IF I did happen to, which I don't, is that even a crime?!" Nick shouted nervously, pupils going to every corner of the room..

"Please refrain from outburts, Mr. Wright!" the judge stated monotonously, although his large blue eyes narrowed to make him appear intimidating, despite being more like an unclever housecat than any form of law. "Your witness, Mr. Godot?"

"Myself, of course, Your Honor." Godot just happened to be bending all the rules of court, but he did it all for the glory of watching Wright squirm. "My name is Prosecutor Godot, and I'm a prosecutor." The obviousness of the whole sentence didn't seem to matter to him. "In the Hazakura Temple Case, Trite sprinted across a bridge, while being afraid of heights, that was engulfed in flames. All in concern for Ms. Fey who was on the other side. This court has also seen for itself his reaction to Maya's supposed death."

The judge didn't even get to ask for the cross-examination before Nick interjected. He was still surprised on the reason he was brought to court, but he couldn't allow his affection to be revealed and therefore played along with the false court case. "OBJECTION!" he shouted, flustered, as he weakly pointed a finger. "Th-the bridge crossing was because she is my mentor's sister!" he lied. Maya puffed out her cheeks at Nick's explanation.

"OBJECTION!" Your :late: mentor's sister." Godot corrected begrudginly at the memory of her dying. "There is no reason to risk your life for this girl unless you care for her as more than another's sister or a friend!"

Nick became immersed with a tile on the floor when Maya gazed at him curiously. Pearl sat in the background, squealing in delight that other people had noticed Maya was Nick's "special someone".

Godot piled on the loads that Nick never wanted said out loud such as why he's always with her and taking her place and paying, how obviously happy she makes him just from being near, and many other things as he blushed and continued to deny his love. Godot chuckled at the man's predicament. It had been hopeless from the start to prove a guilty man innocent. With joy, Godot plunged the nail in the coffin. "And Trite, if I go onto DeKiller case, I'll well exceed my coffee limit."

Nick's face turned a fierce scarlet as he tried to stutter his objection, further burying his own grave with his suspicious actions as Maya looked to the side with a light pink on her face.

"I'm ready to hand down my verdict." The judge declared. The past hour had been torture for Phoenix and wonderful for Godot watching the embarrassed defense attorney. Gossip had overtaken the entire jury by this point although the judge still seemed as though he wanted to collapse on a couch. Finally, the words Godot had been waiting for and Phoenix had been dreading. "This court finds the defendant: GUILTY."

-  
Cuz I've been dying to write a Phoenix/Maya and am too stupid to do it like NORMAL people would. I kept writing Phoenix's name differently (Wright, Nick, Phoenix). I apoligize. Godot got his revenge at poor Feenie's expense. :DDD

I can't count how many rules I broke here. Godot being the prosecutor and the witness, Phoenix being the defendant and the defense lawyer, Phoenix being brought to the court without being told the charges, the eventual verdict being passed on from opinion instead of PROOF. I'm sorry I didn't include the little details about the proof. It's basically all the same, anyhows. Also sorry about the choppy paragraphs and lack of imagery. And the fact that you need to play Trials and Tribulations to get some of it. And that (spoiler) Godot would kinda be in jail at this point in time (end spoiler).

This story took like, an hour, tops. So it's crappy as can be :) 


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